Meteora Lacrima

Will I bum?

Everyday I deny to study, just don't feel like it; can do it later; <insert original excuse>; etc. Whatta bum I am. But deeply, I know I will be screwed fairly soon. GG guise, another year wasted. Sigh, too much to talk about, end here. Actually I just forgot everything temporarily due to dinner. Kbai.

I haven't blogged for 3 days. I haven't logged into Cecil [vitally important website where students at AU recieve resources from lecturers, tbh, most people agree that this alone is sufficient for a pass, without even going to lectures] or even EC Mail for the last 3 days.

Which screwed me up. I was supposed to pick up a Field Guide, which in it's absence, I would not be able to participate in a field trip which means I automatically fail that paper. GG....Though, I might have to bribe my lecturer.

My birthday is in like. 2 weeks. And I don't wanna make a big fuss over it, koz I suck at organising shit, and Uni will be busy then anyways.

Anyways, I had my first lab in class today, AND LOL, there was this cewt girl in my lab. First one I've seen, and we're supposed to have 40,000 people. Sigh~ That's about the best thing that happened today, but it was quickly owned in the face when I realised I only have lab once every 2 weeks.

And I'm too late for Law tutorials so I got a shitty time slot for 8-9am. Now I can't laugh at those nerds that bus at 6am. [Sorry Jane. And Daph. And all of you nerds hahahaha.]

My calf muscles nearly exploded today when I walked uphill to Studylink, and then realised that there was a quicker route back, except it was also mostly uphill. Idk how it werks either, but it was tiring.

ANYWAYS, TMRW I WILL MEET MR T, YAY~~ He is a Robot. http://www.ciri.org.nz/bct/blogs/yr1/angela/angela.html

Philosophy is EZPZ, but I'm worrying about everything else. Mostly 104 [Ecology stuff] Koz Idk what we're supposed to know, and our lecturer is old and talks like a CD with scratches. Sorry, change 'CD' to 'Record' [As in a record player] And also Law, because I also don't know what I'm supposed to know. Not because I don't take notes but because I can't seem to draw any relevance between what it says in my book, the topic, and what my lecturer says. 101 is alright because there are fuxsmart people in my class, and my lecturer knows what we should know, and occasionally we get free boiled eggs, and live lobster demonstrations. Still hard. with 1,300 in my lecture theatre at once, it's gunna be tough to find that girlo lolol. Aiyaya...

Burger King, sang K at home for 5 hours, mowed lawn, And now idk what to do. I don't wanna study, though I probably should. And failed attempts at studying always lead to gaming, which only entertained my for about 30 mins before I decided to blog. I'm likely to continue bumming till bedtime, when I feel shit at the fact I have work tomorrow, or I will study, and then feel shit at the fact that I have work tomorrow. The latter probably won't happen. Actually I might learn the piano piece for Love Song.

This blog will officially be my second shortest, the shortest one, you will recognise it when it comes.

I have the most lectures this day.

I have work straight after all my lectures.

Other stuff too personal to post.

Fridays are just gunna be bad. Oh not to mention like 812396 of my exams will be on Fridays. If that isn't bad enough I have to sort out the fact I work on Fridays.

Just to add to that, I was late for the first time today, due to the traffic and rain, rain drops size of pennys splattered on my windscreen as I was driving. Fuxnuts.

Emily is sick.

Everything is a disaster, catastrophic.

Love Song, continually continuing, occupy, dominate, invade, my brain.

No moar Good Fridays 4 me >:

LOL

Today is fux-epic. Woke up to wind and rain, which came as a surprise first thing in the morning, due to being adjusted to the furnace we live in. It's mainly wind, and Ada got things blown in her eyes like once every 58(±600) seconds. But rain was barely noticeable.

@jane&daph: I talk to both Jane and Daphne equal amounts, and both are equally significant. (Or insignificant, TEE-HEE-HEE) So don't angry at me la.

My one and only lecture for today was somewhat entertaining, cosidering our lecturer brought items of raw steak, butter, flax, a live lobster, and various others, to teach us about 'The chemical components of cells.'

Yeah, me neither.

No tutorial for Ada today. Later when we were at floor 6 of the library with seaviews and I was reading a book on WWII [Biased book, written by a white guy obviously] I realised my lecture this afternoon was also cancelled. Sorry Il Hwan, but your last name starts with A-K and mine is in the L-Z catergory ): We hurried home.

Oh and 方大同's 'Love Song' was stuck in my head all day long, possibly because it looped on my computer for about 5 hours non stop the night before. I even sang it quietly in lecture, so softly that Judy, who was sitting next to me, cannot hear it. I'm sure it has nothing to do with all the chattering and shuffling of like 5648796 people. Here, oh remember to stop [pause] my blog music:

I still can't believe I came up with this much bullshit about a day that ended at 2pm. [I blog when I homed from uni, it marks 'the end' of my day.]

Perhaps I should become a bum. I'm not exaggerating about myself, but I　really do think my bum-ness is unmatched. I went to uni for 2 lectures, both 1 hour long, and I ended up being there for 8 hours. It's not gunna take a PhD in mathematics to figure out I bummed away a quarter of my entire day doing absolutely nothing, for absolutely no purpose. To elaborate just a little bit more, observe how much I've bullshitted about being a bum.

Had my first philosophy lecture today. 'Critical Thinking.' is the intellectually discipline process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, and I stopped copying there because I was too fast and felt that I was.... Well, too fast. Anyways, it allows us to make informed and reasoned judgements, without bias, and being open-minded, and its important as it ultimately affects the quality of our lives [good decisions we make = good quality life] It relates to Philosophy [philosophia, 'love of wisdom'] as it enables philsophers to think carefully, critically and calmly, about arguements for a reasoned attempting to rationally persuade a particular POV.

Whatever. I enjoyed it, and look forward to it. That last paragraph, did not need to be understood, it's just proof I worked hard and listened. Ha, whoever tried to understand it, lol@u. Those who understood without trying. My greetings to you, genius. Fucking nerd. [j/k]

Eeenyways. I saw a few more familiar faces, Tanya, Cathy....Um...etc. And Emily, who I must put down as a separate note, because she deserves the credit for being so kool and learning cantonese so fast. And accompanied me for some considerable amount of bum time. I JUST GOT BITTEN BY A MOSQUEAKTO. before having to leave to go meet up with her sis.

I bummed till 6, reading my law book and not absorbing anything, just looking at words rather than reading, until my sister and her friend was done, before homing in 20mins.

After a bit of critical thinking in deep, careful, informed and rational thought, I think I'm going to make up for my lack of study/follow-up-work or whatever you call it, for the last 3 days, sometime tonight. Before I put myself at a major disadvantage for being so far behind. Good good study, day day up, and put it into action. I will never be able to tolerate the low income for being a bum, so I'll stick my with my biosci x law. Then I can stitch you up while sueing the the owner of the company of the owner of the dog who bite you. Fuxpro.

Professional Bum. Won't be me.

Hopefully.

 

 

Title summarizes it all pretty well. Today was a shit day.

Nothing event-wise actually, Idk why it felt shit all day. Maybe because somethings don't go the way I had wished it to. Maybe because I sub-conciously realised somethings about some people that I wished I hadn't. Maybe because I saw some people I had preferred not to. Maybe because I didn't see some people as often as I would've preferred to. Maybe because I parked wonkily.

It feels like I'm easily affected but little tiny or even unnoticeable things, when it concerns some people that I, er. Concern.

Today wasn't actually that crap, event-wise. I worked decently in my lectures, I brought books and pens that Charlene had given me. I sat with a row of familiar faces in biosci101. I caught up with Judy, and Lance, and Emily [In order of appearance]. And with every passing day, I familiarize myself with the campus, and outside campus, Oh and someone suicided.

I'm unclear of the details, but it happened.

I wanted to meet up with Steven the whole day, but ended up not doing it, due to some technical difficulties - Fuck my phone - I don't know if it was my phone or not, but reception was crap, and it refused to recieve and send out texts promptly, which pissed me off a great deal.

I want to devote everything to studying this year.

I just hope it'll all be over, and things go back to how it was before, where I didn't care about anything concerning it and not feel so attached.

And I can just put all my mind and effort into studying, and not feeling tempted, to participating in activities in order to spend more time or whatever. I want to live for me.

Unfortunately somethings are included in 'me' and I wished it didn't.

I wish I wasn't such an emofag. I wish I wish I wish I wish. If only things went the way preferred. But then, everyone is just another brick in the wall, and our world doesn't have enough place for all the wishes. Otherwise there would be collisions, and crashes, and clashes, and back-lashes, and ashes [I know it doesn't fit, but just to rhyme some more] and that girl would'nt have needed to suicide. Hell, maybe the next one would be me. Har har.

Fuck today was a bad day. I tried to hide it, and I think I did a pretty good damn job. But I think blog is a good place to let things out. Especially when you can do it so inspecific. I did enjoy some of today, infact it should've out-balanced the crappiness. But it didn't, and I feel shit. One little thing is enough to ruin the whole day, no matter how much happiness and joy is bombarded into my face afterwards. It's kinda like running really fast in a race, and then you win the race, but then you stepped in shit, and then you get disqualified for suspicious footwear.

Sad blogs are always longer than happy blogs, and it seems even longer when you have no idea what anything means.

 

EDIT: Something good did happen today. It was when I listened to the long awaited 方大同 given by Ada. Some good stuff. And maybe not every, but some, clouds, DO, have a silver lining.

All day long I've felt tempted to blog. Everytime I saw Nikki we would tell each other 'I can't wait to blog tonight.'

What nerd shit we are lol. Well, I am.

Today was the start of semester one, and every lecture was an 'Introduction Lecture' Some of my Lecturers were funny, amusing, and seemingly very knowledgeable, whereas some others [one, so far] were absolutely crap and boring and attempts at humour that no one laughs at, making a lecture a genuine 'lecture.' There was no one I knew, except one for one lecture, and Il Hwan and I both fell asleep during that last lecture of ours for the day. Unfortunately that half was not an introduction lecture. She was funny and all, but, we were just too exhausted. Oh btw, I must egostatistically point out that Auckland Uni is ranked in the top 50 universities in the world, which is also the top 1%.

The highlight of the day would be meeting a guy who my friend forgot to introduce until. Later. Oh and eating ice cream and watching get contacts and eating more ice cream and playing badminton and hanging out and getting freebies and seeing old friends and catching up with people and waiting. Yes, some types of waiting can be enjoyable. Some people will know what I'm talking about. Oh and not carrying any books at all. Because that's what kool kids do.

The down/low-light of the day would be... Not carrying any books because I looked like a total dork not to mention fag with no books or even a bag in a Tertiary Education centre. Not to mention that I arrived home to a little dispute with my sister that can affect some matters in the long term. Ironically these long term matters were also what caused the dispute. I also realised that we don't have time or second chances to mess up or mess about with. Uni is for serious now, guise, every grain of sand is gold. Sure, more freedom now, but I'm still used to all the frames and blocks given to me, with plenty of time to trial and error and trial.

I met a guy who sat next to me during my Law lecture. His name is Ben. That's all I know, and all the conversation we exchanged were our names. That was awkward.

I think this much blogging is enough for the majority's attention span, especially when there are no pictures. Just really couldn't be screwed. For now anyways. I also deliberately use language techniques that made some things inspecific so that my reader(s) can have more freedom and flexibility in their implications and imagination. Not that I was too lazy to explain everything. Trust me.

Please.

Hmmmm....Well this is difficult.

I've just spent a good few hours setting this up, and it still looks newbie. Because it is.

But hopefully, in the time that I grow and mature, so will this. This will mark the start of my journal, start of university, start of a new life.

Omg yes, university is starting tomorrow. Idk, I don't want it to start so soon; don't want to say goodbye to my holidays yet. There's still this slight poignant feeling in taking my first steps into 'adulthood', feels like having to learn to walk again. From being the oldest, most experience, possibly the smartest, seniors of college, to being a freshman in University, asking for directions, asking for help, feeling confused all the time. Which is why my page is so dull. And poignant feeling. No fancy pictures either. K I added some pictures.

I'll grow. And change. I think. In this time. How long this would be, I don't know, because I might change. Change my mind about what I want to do.

(Not that I want to flip hotdogs or anything.)

Anyways, this is just a general intro, start-of-a-blog type of thing. And it's mostly rubbish talk you've heard 6,000 times, but I didn't want to leave it blank. Or leave one sentence 'I agree with every other freshman in the world.

Oh, and I started this because. Well, some. A few. A couple, of my friends did this, and. Well it was tempting. Oh and I have a BlogBusBuddy, Nikki, who is probably going to be the only BlogBusBuddy I'll ever have.

Let's see how long this lasts, and how long I last. And hopefully my future posts will be less boring. When I've restored some, um. Idk what its called. When I don't feel so poignant.